and i love you all so so much,

but i don't really know how to say it.






more at the end of the week, and yes i'm finally updating again >< (it's been a busy period though so please do forgive me.)

Two roads diverged,and I-
took the one less taken...

no posts for a while (before this one), and it's actually unlikely there'll be (m)any more to come (except the occasional flash of inspiration which might override the cruel but necessary slog for promos and for council).

but while i'm here i just want to say that i'm really proud of the red parade team, every single one of them, for beating old father time senseless and erm when he regained consciousness, treated him to a wonderful concert.

special shout out too to penny, matthew and patrick - you three really got the short end of the stick, but don't feel too down! the journey's not over by any means.

you three also made me treasure my privilege of being able to do two functions even more. sometimes people might feel tempted to get away with commiting less than 100% to two tasks and get the credit for them, but you guys not only gave it 100000%, but also didn't really get the credit. and where others might simply see being in two functions as taxing or even natural, i see it now as a duty i have to everyone to do it well, so thank you, the three of you.

i know i shouldn't be raking up things that have passed (and maybe even blown over), but in short,

i think the council loves you, but more than that, they respect you.



and that's it for the short update i guess. grrr i don't think i have the will to blog regularly anymore (and go against the flow doing it).

Two roads diverged,and I-
took the one less taken...

i just find it rather characteristic of JC life that after a CT which is worth 15% of the total year, we're all going for outings and movies and shopping trips as if there was a huge cause to celebrate.

and there is, because studying is a big deal in JC. and studying harder than you've ever done in the last 3 years (for me, at least) is certainly cause enough to celebrate, even if only for 4 days.

then again that's just my take.

and in the midst of a discussion with nic today about all matter of things pertaining to our lives, i realised that - and i think - i think too much.

what about that for irony.

Two roads diverged,and I-
took the one less taken...

perhaps the greatest tribute to michael jackson and his influence is that even now, almost a day after his death, people everywhere are still in shock and disbelief, news networks are covering it almost around the clock and there are many out there who're willing to look beyond his troubled life and instead focus on his true legacy, as a gifted performer.

well i have 2 CDs of his, Thriller and Bad, and that sort of makes me a fan somewhat (and anyway i do like his music), and it's true that there's this immense void he's left behind that you just feel like nobody can truly ever replace. it's still a little hard to believe that he's really not going to make headlines (good or bad) ever again like he did in his heyday.

there's really a lot, almost too much to say, and probably nobody can truly get their head around the many feelings going through everyone now, but either way he was, and probably will always be, one of the great performers who've ever lived.

rest in peace.

Two roads diverged,and I-
took the one less taken...

ok it seems like i'm back on the updating trail.

the last few days have been pretty productive i suppose. went through most of my notes and feeling sort of at ease with whatever CTs could throw our way, and while you could say it's only 15% of the entire year, an exam is an exam nonetheless.

and more than anything, the last few days have been productive, because i've been able to catch up with old friends, just talking about nothing (too much) in particular while reaffirming our friendship all the time. to me, it's just special if you can spend some quiet, quality time with a friend and just forget about the world out there.

and hopefully the next few days will be particularly good as well in that sense. it's really all the time i can afford to spare at the moment with CTs round the corner.

it's quite incredible how the atmosphere in RJ is really one of hard work and getting the results at the end of the day. i'm quite certain i wasn't totally like that in RI. anyway it's a good atmosphere to be in i suppose.

and on that issue of time, i just realised it sort of ties in (superficially) with that last poem heh.

off to sleep! (i haven't blogged at this hour for a LONG time.)

Two roads diverged,and I-
took the one less taken...

i've realised that when i actually put my head down and get down to doing something, i actually can do it.

no, i'm not talking about the 5 tutorials i completed in the last 3 days (which were extremely punishing on my hand).

instead...



Time

It seems you know only a warped kind of movement –
Solitude which comes around
Time and again,
Whose mechanics spare you
But only a split second
Of thought, emotion, feeling,
Hesitation –
Before you embark on another of your fruitless journeys.
It seems you know only a monotonous war-cry –
Tones that never quite seem to fit
With your true inner workings,
Sounds which ring out long and loud
To too many a person
In need of your charity –
Sounds which sound like they could last forever.
It seems you know only a misguided purpose –
Serving as the first source of refuge
To the needy and speechless –
A quick synonym for an excuse,
To prove that the world
Can only revolve around you.

But worst of all,
It seems you know only a pitiful fate –
One as the hopeless target
Of hurt and fury, life and death
Destined to end as antiquity,
A slave to the abuse and working
Of the very people
Who proudly created you in the first place –

To prove that, in fact,
The world revolves around you and me.




admittedly it's nowhere near my best effort, but it's a start nonetheless. =)

Two roads diverged,and I-
took the one less taken...

ok i do feel like writing, but now i don't really know what to write (even how to write - out of touch grrr.), so yeah it's going to have to come back slowly and painfully.

haha looks like (one of) my dreams of becoming a writer is going to be dashed. no passion and no drive! ><

Two roads diverged,and I-
took the one less taken...